Obituaries

Louise Heiligenthal
B: 1944-01-13
D: 2018-05-22
View Details
Heiligenthal, Louise
Leona Eggers
B: 1925-06-28
D: 2018-05-21
View Details
Eggers, Leona
Braydon Robertson
B: 2018-05-15
D: 2018-05-15
View Details
Robertson, Braydon
Dallas Millard
B: 1932-05-20
D: 2018-05-13
View Details
Millard, Dallas
Robert Bechen
B: 1932-09-12
D: 2018-05-11
View Details
Bechen, Robert
Marilyn Houtakker
B: 1943-02-01
D: 2018-05-01
View Details
Houtakker, Marilyn
Donald Houtakker
B: 1937-08-15
D: 2018-04-24
View Details
Houtakker, Donald
Dennis Cavanaugh
B: 1962-05-15
D: 2018-04-19
View Details
Cavanaugh, Dennis
Berniece Kieler-Kaiser
B: 1929-11-29
D: 2018-04-16
View Details
Kieler-Kaiser, Berniece
Elwira Dobosz
B: 1923-12-04
D: 2018-04-13
View Details
Dobosz, Elwira
Joseph Knox
B: 1937-03-21
D: 2018-04-12
View Details
Knox, Joseph
Thomas M. "Tom" and Mary Lou (Lange) Aird
D: 2018-04-07
View Details
Aird, Thomas M. "Tom" and Mary Lou (Lange)
Clayton E. "Gene" Redfern
B: 1929-08-10
D: 2018-04-04
View Details
Redfern, Clayton E. "Gene"
Donald Rock
B: 1930-01-08
D: 2018-04-04
View Details
Rock, Donald
Marilyn Mulligan
B: 1960-08-05
D: 2018-03-26
View Details
Mulligan, Marilyn
Rodney Driscoll
B: 1930-10-25
D: 2018-03-23
View Details
Driscoll, Rodney
Marion Wallenhorst
B: 1922-10-08
D: 2018-03-18
View Details
Wallenhorst, Marion
Earl Kunkel
B: 1932-10-08
D: 2018-03-15
View Details
Kunkel, Earl
Joseph Dietzel
B: 1928-08-13
D: 2018-03-13
View Details
Dietzel, Joseph
Patricia Stanton
B: 1969-09-13
D: 2018-02-21
View Details
Stanton, Patricia
Alfred Kluge
B: 1927-07-27
D: 2018-02-20
View Details
Kluge, Alfred

Search

Use the form above to find your loved one. You can search using the name of your loved one, or any family name for current or past services entrusted to our firm.

Click here to view all obituaries
Search Obituaries
123 North Jackson Street
Cuba City, WI 53807
Phone: 608-744-2714
Fax: 608-744-3212

Ending Denial and Finding Acceptance

Acceptance is the very first task in your bereavement. Dr. James Worden writes that we must "come full face with the reality that the person is dead, that the person is gone and will not return."

This is where a funeral can be very important. Traditionally, the casketed body of the deceased is at the front of the room and guests are invited to step up to personally say their goodbyes. Part of stepping up means seeing with our own eyes that death has actually occurred and that actualizing is an essential part of coming to accept the death. With cremation the focal point of the ceremony becomes the cremation urn, holding the cremated remains or ashes out-of-sight and making the reality of the death less evident and the road to acceptance less clearly marked.

Acceptance May Seem Out-of-Reach

For many, acceptance means agreeing to reality. Most of us, when we lose someone dear to us, simply don't want to agree to it; we actually have an aversion to agreeing and accepting. So, let's use a different word - try adjustment, or integration. Both words focus on the purposeful release of disbelief. Someone who has integrated the death of a loved one into their life has cleared the path to creating a new life; a pro-active life where a loved one's memory is held dear, perhaps as a motivating force for change.

It does take time. In Coping with the Loss of a Loved One, the American Cancer Society cautions readers that "acceptance does not happen overnight. It’s common for it to take a year or longer to resolve the emotional and life changes that come with the death of a loved one. The pain may become less intense, but it’s normal to feel emotionally involved with the deceased for many years after their death. In time, the person should be able to reclaim the emotional energy that was invested in the relationship with the deceased, and use it in other relationships." 

Whatever you call it, this essential part of mourning is what allows us to live fully again. It allows us to step out of the darkness of mere existence and back into the sunshine where life is sweet again. Of course, it's a very different life than the one you had before your loved one died.

Sources:
Worden, James, Grief Counseling & Grief Therapy: A Handbook for the Mental Health Practitioner, 4th Edition, 2009.

American Cancer Society, "Coping with the Loss of a Loved One", 2012



 

365 Days of Healing

Grieving doesn't always end with the funeral: subscribe to our free daily grief support email program, designed to help you a little bit every day, by filling out the form below.